Lifestyles of the Broke and Shameless

I can usually be found at Caribana or Cropover this time of year, but I recently realized that I am mutha *BEEPn* poor and I need to sit my rass down! I don’t understand, it’s like the older I get the less $$ I have to blow on foolishness.  What’s happening???  I wanna attend every ATL Falcons football game & ATL Hawks basketball game, I wanna go to happy hour every day and dinner with the homies every night. I wanna blow a bunch of $$$ on stuff I don’t need from Amazon and ebay. I wanna travel to every carnival and take a vacation to fun places every month.  Le Sigh.

So this month I was like hmmmm I have $14.93 in my account, where can I go to for the LOW LOW and still have a frekkin blast? My 2nd favorite US city... Meejami of course! I packed a few peanut butter & jelly sammiches and a sh*t ton of flasks & hopped a flight to MIA.

flasks flasks flasks flasks flasks

Stayed at a small Kimpton boutique hotel called Angler's on Washington, 2 blocks from the beach.  I haven’t stayed at a Kimpton property in like 10yrs, I forgot how top notch their service is.  Might have to take a break from the huge hotels and go the boutique route more often.  They especially won our hearts with the daily free wine and cocktails happy hour.  YES LAWD!!! 

So the weekend was basically spent enjoying the beach, some pools, and plenty booze!   We did also hit a mega club which was interesting.  We go to more so lounges or small clubs in ATL, but in MIA we just went with what was close. 

When trying to decide what I would wear out I asked Google for advice. Dear Google, What’s a good party outfit for someone who isn’t serious about life & hasn't worked out in a while? I promise this was the 2nd option that popped up & it hid everything that needed to be hidden. Thank you for coming thru Google!

So anyway, hopped in an Uber to the club and got dropped off next to a group of hot mess ladies in an all-white attire bridal party. I felt odd cause I looked like I was with them and I'm pretty sure the bride was on “that cocaine”.  She was screaming to the bouncer, "I'm the bride, I’m getting married!" As if the veil she was wearing wasn’t a tell-tale sign. And as if screaming at a bouncer is gonna help your cause!  Actually I think most people we encountered that weekend were on “that cocaine.”   

Aside from countless hours at the beach, we also hit up a pretty lively pool party. I encourage you to check out @DoNotDisturbTheParty if you are ever in MIA bored on a Sat or Sun afternoon. Good times indeed. 

This is what I imagine a Vegas pool party to be like, but of course on a much larger scale.  I’ve been to Vegas a couple times, but never on a TURN UP with the homies trip. Would you believe I actually spent one Vegas trip in art galleries?  Who knew Vegas had such fine art?  Don’t judge me, I was in search of Tom Everhart’s work, not that I can afford it (Everhart is the ONLY artist in the world authorized to paint Peanuts comics characters).  I did however come back with some much more affordable Everhart lithographs, so Vegas was a success in my book.  My bad I totally wandered away, I do that sometimes. 

So I leave you with a few captured moments of what poor people do when they can’t afford to leave the country!  They ball on a budget & have pointless photoshoots!!!