Miami Carnival 2017

Back to MIA for carnival, I’ve said it before and I shall say it again, Miami is my 2nd favorite US city and it is my favorite US carnival.  The carnival road march leaves a bit to be desired, but this carnival weekend is where I see the most long lost faces.  I run into so many friends that live in other cities that I rarely get to see. Also, I get to meet all the awesome people that I follow on social media and feel like I actually know them.  #StalkMuch??? It’s a weekend jam packed with love and good vybz!!!  My chica Amber from Cali joined us to celebrate her 40th so that made it even better.
Majah Hype
The weather forecast for the entire weekend was rain rain rain, but if you recall Miami Carnival 2016 started with a hurricane and we actually flew in early to arrive before the hurricane since flights were being cancelled.  Because of the rain our Thursday afternoon fete of TJJ Arrivals got moved from its rooftop pool location to the indoor location used in 2016.  We were having a grand time until the power went out around 10pm, it was beautiful to see everyone decide that WE JAMMIN STILL and just start singing and banging on whatever they decided would make a good instrument.  We all left in very good spirits despite the situation. 

After Arrivals it was off to Tribe Ignite which relocated from Ft Lauderdale to downtown Miami. Perfect for us cause driving back and forth to from Miami to Ft Lauderdale all weekend E-No-Easy… not the way we drank!!!  I don’t know how we managed to not take any pix at Ignite, I guess cause by then everyone was messed the *BEEP* up.  Luckily I am a very good artist and I drew a pic of the evening.
Seems legit!
Friday morning, while all the young people went to their early morning breakfast fetes and boat rides, us old people drank champagne on the condo balcony. My carnival schedule use to be like Drink, fete, drink, fete, sleep (repeat)… now its more like Drink, nap, drink, fete, drink, sleep (repeat). Judge me if you must, but I be tired and my back hurts and my knee squeaks. 

Friday afternoon it was Scorch _uck Work, the location was pretty cool because it was a covered rooftop so you got the awesome rooftop vybz, but you were also protected from the elements.  We had a mutha frekkin blast at Scorch, the place was ram packed by the end, we had to leave a tad bit early cause Paco had to go pick up his jouvert packet and carnival costume.  Once again, while the young people hit the Friday night fetes, our old asses were drinking by the pool and were in bed at a reasonable hour. 
Saturday morning was my favorite event of the entire weekend JOUVERT!  Paint, powder, water, and this year FOAM!!! The thing I love about jouvert is that you put absolutely no effort into your outfit and have still have the time of your life.  Jouvert is the ability to get dutty dutty dutty and set your spirit free!
Saturday night we headed to Caesar’s Army Mai Tai. Oh gosh we were loving the open bar, FINALLY we didn’t have to sneak our flasks and we could drink as much as our hearts desired.  A couple of artists touched the stage, but honestly I don’t remember who. I just remember being so happy that they granted us an extra hour at the end of the fete. Can I get a YAYmen?
If you have followed me for a while you know that I have been storming Miami carnival for several years (storming = not joining a band, just being a renegade, doing your own thing). The current route gives me the blues, its just too congested! I really miss the days of parading through the streets, so I’m not really that motivated to join a band.  Oddly enough through the years more and more of my friends have been motivated storm with me.  Keep in mind, I don’t make their costumes, they all do their own thing in this “Stormers International” band #WeAintShit  This year “Stormers International” had a common theme of white costumes.  When I look at the photos all I can do it laugh and say SERIOUSLY #WeAintShit!!!  We kinda look like we are a real band. LMFAO
Some of the other stormers stopped by and we had a pregame fete / photo shoot at the condo.  Around 1pm we headed to carnival and linked with the other members of Stormers International & we danced and drank our lives away until 8pm on the DOT.  Why 8pm?  I dunno, that’s just the time we decided years ago that we would be exhausted and head home.  So upon arrival we tell each other, if you lose yourself, if you lose your phone… just be back at the car at 8pm and yuh rass won’t get left!
Many many moons ago we used to go to Socavivor/Jabba Strikes Back Sunday night after carnival, but those days are long gone.  Amber went to the lobby bar to watch football for a few hours. I saw Paco on his laptop probably doing taxes or random equations, I however slipped in/outta coma all night.  I actually woke up around 12am and searched through all the channels trying to find Saturday Night Live, took me a while to figure out that it was Sunday night...  I had some champagne and then went back to bed.

Monday morning while the young people were on their boat rides and whatnot we drank champagne on the balcony in proper old people fashion.  Had to my stop at Fat Tuesday Monday afternoon cause I can’t hit Miami and not partake in some delicious Fat Tuesday, afterwards headed to Scorch Bacchanal Beach on the Virginia Key Beach.  Sadly some of us were flying out Monday night so we didn’t get to go ALL IN, but I hear it was a dayym good fete.  We did however have a fabulous photoshoot on the beach and that my friends is all that really matters!
All in all, I had a blast all weekend.  I realize that maybe I should get a lil more fetes in and a lil less drinking on the balcony before I get REALLY get old and cant do it anymore.  So next year I think I will throw in ONE extra fete into the schedule.  Until we meet again my beautiful carnivalians! *MUAH* PS: No video cause I'm lazy!

Cruise Confession

I have a confession you guys, I took a cruise in June and I didn’t blog about it because I felt guilty as sh*t.  On Tue, Jun 13 someone messaged me about my upcoming trips and I was all like, “Nah I’m not going anywhere for a while, I’m getting my broke life together, blah blah blah!”  On Wed, Jun 14 I was like, “F*ck this sh*t!” and booked a cruise from Orlando to Nassau for Thu, Jun 15. 
I really don’t know what came over me.  I can’t even blame it on being a deal too good to pass up because honestly deals drop almost daily.  Only thing I can say for myself is, “I aint sh”t!”   

My daughter and I went on a "Cruise to Mexico" back in 2015, it was kinda painful because she didn’t wanna do anything on board.  She was 17 at the time and in that weird stage where she was unamused by everything although she did love our day excursion of snorkeling and 4 wheeling in Mexico.  I honestly was in Mexico looking up flights to just fly home, but they were too expensive.  I did however have two 32oz cruise flasks that looked like Shampoo and Conditioner bottles so I stayed feeling NIIIICE. 
I let someone borrow those bottles and have no idea who *can’t let brown people borrow jack ish*.  Being that I booked this cruise 1 day before I needed to fly out, I didn’t have time to Amazon Prime a replacement set.  I only found one of my 12oz lotion flasks, I have so many flasks but of course they were all missing in action when I REALLY REALLY needed them.  How the *BEEP* am I supposed to STAY THIRSTY cause I sure as heck wasn’t gonna buy the $40/day alcohol cruise package. So I had to get resourceful, I think I was MacGyver in my past life (sorry young ppl that don’t know who MacGyver is).  I went to Walmart and bought 3 Travel bottles sets, each containing 4 – 3oz bottles and I filled em all with 151 (whoop whoop)!

Left Orlando (Cape Canaveral) Thursday afternoon and arrived in Nassau bright an early Friday morning.  Rode around the island doing pointless photoshoots and then stopped at Love Beach for a few hours of R&R. 
When my daughter and I went to "Nassau back in 2012" we spent our last day on Love Beach and it was amazing.  The beach is right by the airport so you have planes flying above you & it’s really cool.   Beautiful, super clear water enclosed in reef so I don’t have to worry about a sneak attack from a shark. *Another confession* although I know how to swim, I never swim much passed where I can stand at the beach cause I’m afraid of being attacked by a shark. I like to stay close to land so I can quickly escape while the adventurous people get eaten alive. Ended the day in Nassau shopping for Henn White cause The Bahamas is one of the places that you can get it for the Low Low (just an FYI, other low- low countries include Trinidad and Panama).

Back on the cruise for the nap of a lifetime and then grub.  The dining on the cruise ship was amazing!!!  When I cruised with my daughter she wanted burgers and fries or pizza for dinner every nights and I’m a pretty easy breezy person, so I obliged.  I got to eat like a mutha frekkin champ this go round.  Definitely came back a few pounds heavier, but No F*cks Given!
Yes I wear my sunglasses at dinner. Ghetto Fab!

Spent Saturday at sea drinking my life away, basking in the sun, and gazing upon the marvelous Atlantic Ocean. My 1st cruise was not the best experience, but I decided to take a chance and give it another shot and surprise surprise I had a blast...  I look forward to cruising again.  Now that its a couple months post trip, I feel less guilty about blowing thru $$$ I was supposed to be saving.  "Que Sera Sera"
Mimosa = Life!

Side notes:

The WIFI ($5/day for social media) was much more affordable than it was when I went with my daughter , but still pretty much useless.  Slow as sh*t, but it is so hard to detach from the matrix.  I guess slow WIFI is better than no WIFI.

The ship had an app that they didn’t have last time which was pretty cool.  They give you a paper itinerary each day of ship activities, buts it’s usually lost by noon.  The app had the activities, maps, and much more useful info.  Made it so much easier to plan my days like, "Ok dinner at 6pm, Comedy Club at 8pm, Karaoke at 9:30pm, Night Club at 11pm, late night snack at 1am" then have a map to each location.  AWESOME!

Until we meet again...

Lifestyles of the Broke and Shameless

I can usually be found at Caribana or Cropover this time of year, but I recently realized that I am mutha *BEEPn* poor and I need to sit my rass down! I don’t understand, it’s like the older I get the less $$ I have to blow on foolishness.  What’s happening???  I wanna attend every ATL Falcons football game & ATL Hawks basketball game, I wanna go to happy hour every day and dinner with the homies every night. I wanna blow a bunch of $$$ on stuff I don’t need from Amazon and ebay. I wanna travel to every carnival and take a vacation to fun places every month.  Le Sigh.

So this month I was like hmmmm I have $14.93 in my account, where can I go to for the LOW LOW and still have a frekkin blast? My 2nd favorite US city... Meejami of course! I packed a few peanut butter & jelly sammiches and a sh*t ton of flasks & hopped a flight to MIA.
flasks flasks flasks flasks flasks
Stayed at a small Kimpton boutique hotel called Angler's on Washington, 2 blocks from the beach.  I haven’t stayed at a Kimpton property in like 10yrs, I forgot how top notch their service is.  Might have to take a break from the huge hotels and go the boutique route more often.  They especially won our hearts with the daily free wine and cocktails happy hour.  YES LAWD!!! 

So the weekend was basically spent enjoying the beach, some pools, and plenty booze!   We did also hit a mega club which was interesting.  We go to more so lounges or small clubs in ATL, but in MIA we just went with what was close. 

When trying to decide what I would wear out I asked Google for advice. Dear Google, What’s a good party outfit for someone who isn’t serious about life & hasn't worked out in a while? I promise this was the 2nd option that popped up & it hid everything that needed to be hidden. Thank you for coming thru Google!

So anyway, hopped in an Uber to the club and got dropped off next to a group of hot mess ladies in an all-white attire bridal party. I felt odd cause I looked like I was with them and I'm pretty sure the bride was on “that cocaine”.  She was screaming to the bouncer, "I'm the bride, I’m getting married!" As if the veil she was wearing wasn’t a tell-tale sign. And as if screaming at a bouncer is gonna help your cause!  Actually I think most people we encountered that weekend were on “that cocaine.”   

Aside from countless hours at the beach, we also hit up a pretty lively pool party. I encourage you to check out @DoNotDisturbTheParty if you are ever in MIA bored on a Sat or Sun afternoon. Good times indeed. 

This is what I imagine a Vegas pool party to be like, but of course on a much larger scale.  I’ve been to Vegas a couple times, but never on a TURN UP with the homies trip. Would you believe I actually spent one Vegas trip in art galleries?  Who knew Vegas had such fine art?  Don’t judge me, I was in search of Tom Everhart’s work, not that I can afford it (Everhart is the ONLY artist in the world authorized to paint Peanuts comics characters).  I did however come back with some much more affordable Everhart lithographs, so Vegas was a success in my book.  My bad I totally wandered away, I do that sometimes. 

So I leave you with a few captured moments of what poor people do when they can’t afford to leave the country!  They ball on a budget & have pointless photoshoots!!!