A letter to the airlines from one strange person regarding other strange people

I know I’m kinda weird, but I tend to keep my weirdness to myself.  I have a proposition for the airlines because I’m tired of sitting next to wierdo’s on the plane.  I would like to propose that those new TSA regulations be re-written to make it mandatory for all passengers to create an online profile.  I would like to have some kinda say-so in who I sit next to. 
My last flight was so creepy that I think I may need to start flying with security.  There was a dude sitting on the aisle of the next row that looked at me, all the way from boarding at Reagan in Washington, DC to landing at Hartsfield in Atlanta, GA.  Not in a "I think your hot" kinda way, but more of a "You remind me of my ex girlfriend, Ima kill dat b*tch & you too." In between creepy stares he would do this crazy head bob & insane hand *this is my jam*movement like he was listening to Biggie “Ready to Die” and feeling every word. 
Dude gets of the plane before me, but I see him off to the side digging through his backpack when I get off.  I am notorious for shanking people so I’m always paranoid that someone is gonna shank me.  I decide to go into the bathroom and just wait a few cause I was sure he was gonna pull out a shank, jab jab and then take off through the airport like a mad man.  After waiting a lil bit, I go to the tram that takes you to the front of the airport & who do I see when getting off the tram?!?!  *panic panic*
I have taken a lot of flights and in only ONE flight has there been a cutie seated next to me… A blissful three hour flight from Las Vegas to Atlanta that just FLEW BY in no time, with lots of giggles on my part.  Otherwise, I always get the chatter box, or the weirdo, or the “my arms are too big to fit in my designated area.”  I OBJECT !!!
I think that passenger profiles would make flights 10x more enjoyable... Please & Thank You! 

PS: It would be helpful if the guys could indicate on their profile what type of cologne they wear. 

1 comment: